LOST

to travel

fall in love

and

be happy !

but, I've lost interest to all of this. 

taiklembu!

Mimpi

this few back weeks,

banyak benda, banyak cerita, banyak konflik.

its not about me, this is the story of awesome people around me.

kejadian sebelum tido.

+aku serabutkan masalah aku yang satu ni kepada beratus-ratus lagi masalah. manusia perempuan macam aku ni memang suka overthinking. aku fikir-fikir-fikir sampai aku stress rasa nak muntah. itu biasa. aku comes with LOVE is bullshit-cikenshit, I should not involve in this love thingy, takpayah kawen supaya tak payah hadap konflik. sadis punya pemikiran kan ! *slap me to the hardest plis! jadi aku amek langkah bijak sebelum neuron-neuron otak aku pecah, aku amek wudhu cuci muka kasi suci, baca doa tido and belayar laa aku.

kejadian dalam mimpi.

+aku tak ingat detail sgt. tapi yang pasti aku mimpi aku sedang mengandung, dalam mimpi tu, with that big tummy aku baring atas katil, then someone datang from my back, hug me tightly and usap my pregnant tummy. That 'someone' probably my HUSBAND in that moment. *awww, tapi ta nampak muka punn* I tell you what, the moment he touch my tummy, the feeling was really AWESOME, i just dont know how to put them in words. tapi feelinggg dia bestttttt sangatt walaupun just dalam mimpi. feeling rasa lengkap sebagai seorang perempuan sebab dapat lahirkan zuriat ke dunia. maybe ? *Will ask my sis how does it feel. hikhik.

kejadian selepas mimpi.

+aku fikir. mimpi tadi tu Allah nak aku tarik kata-kata aku yg ckp all this love is bullshit, married is full of conflict. aku tahu aku harsh bout this matter. Aku tak patut come out with that idea, like a friend of mine said, "takde kebahagiaan datang tanpa kesedihan" But I just not enjoying life as a adult. There are more dramas then happiness, and I hate that ! Aku should dispose all this kind of feeling, I need to calm myself and build the love feeling to my heart again. Semoga keadaa bertambah baik , semoga jiwa-jiwa raksasa saya tak berperang sesama sendiri. aminnnnn :)